Michael J. Fox is one of my heroes. The first thing he does every morning is put his feet into custom-made, orthotic loafers which sit at the side of his bed. These loafers are designed to anchor him and rein in the uncontrollable shaking and jerking of his body, allowing him to go where he aims himself. His body, like our unconscious thought patterns, has a will of its own… the loafers are his way of mindfully overriding the body’s autopilot to keep him on his intended course. Good counseling is much like developing your own personal loafers.
It is not uncommon to seek counseling in order to change the bad behavior of others. Despite your well-meaning motives, others will typically resist your efforts to manipulate, force or even finesse them and there is an indisputable correlation between your attempts to control them, and your own level of exhaustion and resentment. Because we all live within systems, however, every time one person gets stronger, the system gets stronger. Dr. Blair often works with the plaintiff first, understanding that when a critical mass of positive energy in the solution is reached, a positive change in others within the system is inevitable.